I have a pet peeve.  And someone I know well does this a lot.  It is denying your own faults, even when it is clear that it is your fault.  At least be brave enough to admit it.  We're all human, and we all make mistakes.  If you made that mistake, admit it.  What gets me is when all the evidence points to you and yet you still deny it.  What in the world does that achieve?  It proves that you're a coward and can't own up to your own faults.  I really hate that about you.

Have you ever felt like you've established and accomplished a lot in your life, and yet you are feeling like you missed out?  Are you surrounded by friends and family all the time and yet still unsatisfied?

Sometimes I feel like this.  I'm not blaming anyone else but me for it.  In fact, I think the cause of this is due to the walls that I build around me, the re-cementing of those walls, and the layers and layers of stronger and harder wood that I am scrambling to find to reinforce the strength of the wall.  Some may say I'm spoiled.  But I think it's deeper than that.  There are things that I need to deal with and there are reasons that I have put these walls up.

If you met me in person, you would have no idea that these thoughts were going through my mind.  In fact, you'd probably think the exact opposite.  Confident, educated, accomplished.

I came to xanga as sort of a therapy.  A release.  So I can be transparent.  I'd like to cultivate transparency eventually in my face-to-face interactions, but I'm going to start here.  And somehow I have a feeling that this community may get to know me better than some of my closest friends may know me.  I'm thankful for this new place because I am ready to try something new.  I'm ready to share and sort through these questions, thoughts, and views that I have.

If any of you can relate to me, give me some love in my comments box.